I remember hearing somewhere that it takes
between 12 and 18 months to start feeling settled in a new environment. This
makes me nervous. After all, I left Australia less than 12 months ago, I’ve
been in Qatar now for less than 12 months and I’m gearing up for my first trip home
as a ‘visitor’. I can’t help but feel nervous about perhaps maybe not belonging
anywhere…
At the end of the day, I’m Australian; I
don’t necessarily identify with being Australian mind you. For instance; I’m
not crazy about bbq’s and lamb chops (Aussie) but I love curries (not Aussie).
I love the beach (Aussie); but I’m not crazy about getting into the water (not
Aussie).
I am an expat’s daughter and it is hard to
deny that the time spent living in different countries, immersed in another
culture and another language changes people. I love putting myself in
uncomfortable new situations. The euphoria that comes with overcoming the
situation and realizing that I have evolved in some small way is well worth the
discomfort.
I have left my home base enough times to
accept that the experience of living as an expat changes people in ways you
don’t immediately realize. A fundamental shift in perspective and in thinking
is inevitable. Ofcourse, because this is not my first rodeo, I know that this
change has already happened and yet, not fully understanding the extent to
which this has happened makes me a little nervous.
I’m nervous about driving when I visit
home. Seems counter-intuitive when you think I’m going to a place where drivers
are generally polite and follow road rules. But that’s exactly my point! I’ve
gotten used to taking any small space available on the roads to keep moving
forward.
I’m nervous about feeling lost and unsettled
in Australia. I’m nervous about not fitting in anywhere and always being in a
state of transition.
I’m nervous about not being able to
converse with people and feeling like I have ‘lost touch’ with friends and
local culture and that the ‘new’ me – the expat me will have grown away from
family and friends.
Having said that, I’m excited to be going
home! I can’t wait to get all my friends together again and discover Perth all
over again! I can’t wait to see my sister and go shopping with her (like we used
to do!). I’m excited to be a tourist in my own home town but most of all, I’m
excited at the prospect of hugging my beautiful mum and my adorable dad; and it’s
all happening in just a few…short…hours!
When you live abroad, you quickly realise
that no matter where in the world you are, you will always be an expat. It’s a
waiting game really, until you find a place that sings your tunes and makes you
feel like you’re home ‘again’.
For now, home is where wifi connects automatically. What about you? Where do you call home?
 |
| Photo Credit: @lovethispic.com |
