The F-word

I'm talking about Feminism. I do believe I am from the lucky generation. Some degree of 'feminist thinking' has seeped into the minds of our male counterparts.


However, I now find myself wondering; are we sabotaging ourselves?

I recently had a friend Nina* confide in me her nervousness about meeting a long term friend's wife. She felt uncomfortable about being looked at as 'that female friend'.

Nina: Aaron and his wife have invited me to his place tonight for dinner. I really dont think she likes me very much..
Me: Oh? I'm sure she likes you. She wouldn't invite you to her home if she didn't!
Nina: I think she tolerates me because I have been friends with Aaron for a good 10 years. Long before she ever entered the picture.

So why would this woman not like Nina? To give you some background, there is no 'history' between Aaron and Nina. The only history is they have been good mates for a long time.

There are many women around who love the freedom brought about by feminists fighting for equality but when it comes to their husbands, they regress back into the 'Jerry Springer' age and any feminist attitudes go to hell.

I genuinely believe this is still a problem today. There is so much proof! House of cards, Scandal, Good Wife are all built around married men cheating on their wives and the wives in turn blaming the mistresses.
Unfortunately, in many cases the female best friend is often seen as a mistress....or a wannabe mistress in waiting! cue Julia Roberts in My Best Friends Wedding anyone?

I sometimes wonder, at what cost have we achieved our freedom; if at all. How many women have been stepped over so another could 'climb'? When I look around, I see every woman fighting for her own equality.
In this fight for equality, have we just forgotten our manners?

So what is feminism? Feminism is about freedom. The freedom to smash the glass ceiling (Carolyn McCall) or the freedom to get your cans out (cue Kim Kardashian, Melania Trump).

Men have a role to play in the human regression in behaviour toward women too!

What would you think if something like this happened to you?

At an interview....
Male interviewer asks the female interviewee, "Are you planning on having children?"

When a woman was not feeling well at work, a male colleague responds, "Congratulations! When is it due?"

In a meeting, one guy poses a question. "where do you think we'll all be in 10 years?" Each person takes turns answering the question. Every answer has something to do with work and career. Then, its time for the only woman in the room to answer. Before she has a chance to respond, one of the guys jumps in with, "She'll probably be knee deep in kids; baking cakes for school fetes." *cue uncomfortable smiles all around*

Courtesy @nadinemueller

Some people may find the above statements funny; and as as a one off, perhaps they could have been. But let me tell you some other things each of these incidents had in common. In each case, there were multiple men in the room. In each case, there were male observers embarrassed by the comments made by their friends / colleagues. In each case, everyone stayed quiet. And in each case, the woman in question felt isolated.

So many people run away from 'feminism'; men and women included. Maybe because feminism is often associated with hatred of men, burning bras and hairy armpits.
Here's my view on feminism.
Its about taking control of your own body, own life, having a vote, having a say and being given due respect; not for being a woman but for being part of the human race. It's about basic manners.

Personally, I'm a little confused about whether men can be feminists. I dont believe feminism is about hating men. To me, it is about gender equality. It is about standing against male privilege. I'm not saying all men are capitalising on their male privilege but dont they automatically (and often subconsciously) benefit from it. 

Quite A Year!

If you are an avid reader of the blog, you will have noticed my absence for some months now. Ofcourse, I'm talking to myself here as I dont think anybody has mentioned my online silence. So as this is more like a diary than a blog, I thought I would revisit 2016 and reflect on the year.

My immediate thought on the year 2016 is this is a year I would like to forget. Chalk it off and pretend it never happened. But, I promised myself I would be more positive this year so although I cant control my initial feelings, I can consciously put them aside.

Oh heck! Who am I kidding? I'm a pessimist and until I appease that side of my personality, there is no 'putting my feelings aside'.

My (not so little) Sister

The oil price remained low this year and I remained unemployed. I struggled with stress management and continue to fight to stay motivated and focused. There! Its out in the open and out of the way. That felt good. Phew! So what was good about 2016?

I connected with my sister like we haven't in a long time. I always thought of her as my younger sister; as someone to take care of. This year we became equal. She is not just my baby sister anymore. She is my friend, my confidante and I am immensely proud of where our relationship is now and of the strong independent woman she has become.

This big guy at Hamad International Airport
is with me at the beginning of every holiday.

I have travelled more than ever before. I spent three weeks in Trinidad and Tobago actually participating in Carnival there, five weeks in Australia, two weeks travelling through Spain and Portugal (where I met my cousin who I haven't seen in almost 15 years), and a week in Jordan and Dubai. Thats almost three months of travelling; much more than I would have been able to do had I been gainfully employed. Ofcourse, I am now pretty close to being broke; but I'm happy and it was worth every penny.

Floating in the Dead Sea

Carnival time in Trinidad

Toledo, Spain

Lisbon Monastery

The very gorgeous Bear

I have managed to care for a few fosters along the way too. First there was Nahla who was with me for a couple of weeks and was snatched up by a lovely in Chicago. This year also saw me meet my most
precious foster; Bear. He came from a most dire situation; failed adoption after almost a year, lapsed vaccinations, old age, amputated leg, cataracts developing in both eyes and suffering from terrible rashes in the Doha summer heat. Despite being ill treated and having had such a tough life, he loved whole heartedly and was a fighter. He went to a lovely home in Canada where he is thriving. I would go as far as to say he's showing all signs of being the real life Benjamin Button!
How does the saying go? Good things happen to good dogs?

Ofcourse, along the way our family grew to include Nazir (Naz) whose forever home fell through and subsequently led to him being a foster fail. I also rescued a gorgeous little kitten recently who I'm currently trying to find a loving home for.

Follow Gibson and Nazir on Instagram @gibbsandnaz

So all in all, 2016 has been a roller coaster of an adventure. I hope 2017 will open some doors to new challenges, adventures and pleasant surprises.