It's all Relative

What makes a good, strong relationship? I’ve been having a lot of these conversations lately with friends and colleagues. There was one common theme; in any solid relationship, someone has to take a step back and both partners cannot be uber ambitious go-getters.

Some believe that once you have kids, mum needs to stay home and make her life ‘all about the children’. Others thought it was good for mum and dad to work to make the kids more independent. Ofcourse this only needs to be thought about once you have kids. What about before you had them? Were both partners highly career oriented? Or, was one of you already starting to gear up for the ‘pause’. And who made the decision on which one of you was going to take a step back? Was it your partner? Was it you? Was it the extended family? Or was it your employer?

Photo Credit: @managementlink.wordpress.com    

Nepotism. It’s that 8-letter word that makes any human resources person sit up and take notice. Quite often, employing husband and wife into the same company is to the company’s advantage. It’s like getting two for the price of one! Single recruitment fee, single relocation package etc. But what do you do when both husband and wife have the same qualifications and the company has two vacant positions in the same department? Should the company hire them both or hire best of the two citing ‘Nepotism’?

Let’s say they hire both parties and some months down the line, they say, “Oops! Sorry. We’ll keep one and have to move the other to a different department. Not because of your performance, but because of ‘Nepotism’ ”. Even though the couple works as team in most aspects of life, in the workplace, they are competitors. That’s the harsh reality.

Ofcourse, you are happy for your partner. But how do you then feel? How do you not feel like one of you has won and the other… has lost? And carry that feeling back home?

This got me thinking, “Where did the term nepotism originate? A quick search in the Merriam Webster dictionary led me to the explanation, “the unfair practice by a powerful person of giving jobs and other favors to relatives”. This is ofcourse something to be avoided. But to what degree? It makes sense in politics and business. But what about low level jobs? How do you then quantify the risk of nepotism?

According to a study by the anti-poverty charity Oxfam, the wealthiest 1% will soon own more than the rest of the world's population. Is nepotism something that really only applies to the wealthy and the top performers or is it something that every individual has to think about; no matter their position in the workforce? Where do you draw the line? Does this extend to good friends? What about the partner you’ve been with for a few years but haven’t yet taken the step of getting that piece of paper signed? Does one single 8½ in × 11 in piece of paper really have so much power that it makes the world sit up and take notice? And are you really trying to tell me that the wealthiest 1% are not good friends? Almost ‘like family’?

In this day and age where couples meet in university, either employers are going to have to start getting more intelligent about how they define nepotism and less selfish about how they practice the policy or risk looking very foolish later on down the line.

What about rejecting somebody because they remind you of that nasty bully in high school? Isn’t there a rule against holding a grudge somewhere too?

Thoughts?

Photo Credit: @tinacourtney.com

French / Parisian Stereotypes?

We recently visited Paris. My husband planned the trip as a birthday present for me. Personally, I wasn't too fussed about the place. Of course, I had never been there before - but it also was not on my top 10 places to visit! My husband however, had been there before and was convinced I would love it if I gave it a chance. So while we were waiting to board the flight to Paris, I began to wonder, why am I not excited about visiting one of the most talked about cities in the world?

I realized then that having grown up watching the 101 Dalmatians, I had built up more than a few stereotype 'images' about the French and in particular, the Parisians. I was expecting to see glamour, style and fashion from the moment we landed. Not to mention, encountering the famous Snobby Parisian Attitude! What I found however was something completely unexpected.

1. Parisians are rude.
This is definitely not true. I did not meet any rude Parisians on my trip. This could mean one of 2 things; I either did not meet any Parisians, or, not all Parisians are rude. I choose to believe the latter.
I do however think they are very direct and to the point. This can sometimes come across as rude. But this is all part of the Parisian charm!


2. Parisians are all uber stylish!
Not really being much of a fashionista and generally preferring to blend into the crowd, i was horrified at the idea of standing out like a sore thumb and although this stereotype isn't exactly wrong, it isn't entirely correct either.

How a Parisian would dress to
go shopping

How I would dress to go shopping

Paris is one of the fashion capitals of the world and it being October, I was expecting to see Mink Coats, Chanel Handbags and Louboutin Shoes on every street. What I noticed in my short time in Paris however is that Parisians are not necessarily setting out to be stylish but in fact, aiming to 'not look sloppy'. Regardless of age or gender, Parisians like to put their best dressed foot forward every time.


3. Parisians are impossibly thin.
To me, French women in general seem to be on the skinny side of the weight scale. But when you think about their lifestyle, its not that much of a surprise. From an early age, children are introduced to a variety of cuisines and healthy meals. Schools provide parents with a menu that shows them what their child will be eating for lunch at the school cafeteria on any given day. Many schools even go one step ahead and provide parents with meal suggestions for dinner which complement the lunch provided!
When you consider this life long healthy eating diet with the amount of exercise an average French gets, it is no wonder they are so slim!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovO18E-hgew


4. Parisians do not speak English.
This is totally untrue. Not all Parisians refuse to speak anything other than French. I found the young, and or the professional are happy to practice their English. If you do encounter someone
that refuses to speak English, it is more than likely they are uncomfortable speaking the language. The French are perfectionists; if they cant speak the language with perfection, they wont speak it at all.

5. Parisians (and the French in general), drink wine all the time.
Yeah... I found this one to be mostly true. And with French wine being so earthy and light and just yummy, who could blame them?

What was your experience? What are some of your stereotypes about French people?

In the Company of Animals

I’ve been called a social person but I don’t particularly consider myself social. I like the company of people – but for it to evolve into a real friendship, I have a very extensive criteria; fun, relaxed, easy going; the usual. Over the years, I’ve managed to meet some truly wonderful people and make what I hope to be long lasting friendships. There aren’t too many of these kind of people around. You know the type – the ones that just pop round for a coffee and a chat; no formal invitation necessary? I love these people! True friends. Failing that, I’m just as happy in the company of animals.

Dinner with friends is always nice

Its not easy making friends. Quite often, moving to a new place and meeting someone new is like dating. You’re infatuated! Mesmerised! And dare I say… desperate? You spend a lot of time together getting to know one another and inevitably, cracks eventually start to show. You notice the flaws and as with any relationship; romantic or platonic, both parties are at a cross road. Can they accept the flaws and maintain the friendship?

As with any expat community, there is a mishmash of cultures. Making a connection is hard; and often maintaining a connection is even harder. So how does one make and maintain a connection in a place that’s always transient and a micro-community that is always temporary?

Some people make it look easy. They always seem to be out and about partying it up with friends. I would hazard a guess and say they have to work very hard at that. Is it a true friendship if you have to work so hard for it? Or are some people just better salesmen?

#foodporn

For the moment, my approach is to keep busy organizing holidays, skyping old friends, writing this blog and volunteering at the local animal shelter. These are all the things I like to do. If I meet someone along the way, great! We will atleast have something in common by meeting while doing something we enjoy. If not, I’m just as happy in the company of animals!

Oh My Dog!!!

You guessed it; this post is about our fur baby! This week we celebrated Gibson's fourth birthday - and the first in Doha! It also happens to be smack bang in the middle of Ramadan! So to mark the occasion, I've decided to devote this post entirely to Gibson.

Oh my dog!

He can do all that?

Now, its not much I grant you; but bearing in mind that he has two working parents and spends most of his time indoors either alone or with a nanny, its pretty impressive! Gibson loves to lie upside down and smile, shakes both his paws, sits pretty, stays when told told to, waits to eat and goes bananas for cheese! He can open doors - as long as they swing outward. And of course, he knows when dad is around he has to sleep on his own bed. When dad isn't home, its cuddle time with mummy!

Oh my dog puddle!

As we lived in rental accommodation, toilet training Gibson was a bit of a challenge. We decided we were going to teach him to 'communicate' with us and let us know everytime he needed a toilet break. I had been YouTube'ing all week for ideas and happened upon one which suggested ringing a bell when the dog went to the toilet. Thereby training him to ring a bell when he needed to 'go'. This ofcourse, didnt work. Gibbs just seemed to enjoy ringing the bell - the way cats do!
So we then decided to try to get him to stand near a door when he needed to go outside.
Everytime Gibson stood by the door, my husband (Ro) would run over to open the door while I picked Gibson up, tucked his tail under his bum (to avoid any miss-haps) and carry him out to the lawn. After four hours of this; and not a single tinkle, we were getting both bored, and tired.
So naturally, the next time Gibson went to the door, Ro's response was, "Ignore him. He's faking." Ofcourse Gibson had other ideas. He patiently waited for us to open the door and when that didnt happen, he slowly did the pee squat. Ro and I jumped off the couch in a mad panic. He was screaming "OPEN THE DOOR OPEN THE DOOOR". As I opened the door, I saw Ro pick Gibson up, tuck his tail under his bum and all but throw him out into the yard. We had a trail of dog pee from where Gibson had started to squat, all the way out the door and all over Ro's hands and my feet! Oh the joys of toilet training a puppy!


Oh my dog!
Is it rubber? Is it roast? No. Its Electrodog!

When Gibson was just a few months old, while he still had his puppy teeth, he loved to spend his days chewing. He'd chew through reticulation, the floor-mat at the door, the sprinklers, drain pipe, plastic lid on the drain. He even ate the potted chilli plant in the garden - right down to the stalk! Strangely enough, he chewed everything except shoes!
We came home one day to find we had no power. I looked down the street and noticed we were the only house in the dark. Had we paid the electricity bill? After going through our mail with a torch in hand and confirming our bill had been paid, we started switching off all the appliances in the house. Every time we switched one back on, the house would short circuit! Just as we were about to call the electrician, my husband said, "didn't we leave the pond pump running this morning?" It turned out while we thought Gibson was just being good; laying around on the lawn, he was actually gnawing on the cables to the pond pump! How he managed to avoid being electrocuted everytime we tested the system that evening, I'll never know!