Merry Christmas

Its that time of year again where people send christmas cards to friends and family all over the world. If, like me, you have family living on the other side of the world, it is also the time of year that really highlights our differences.

Like clockwork, just before christmas, the holiday cards started arriving. These are laden with family photos of the senders with a simple "Merry Christmas from the "XYZ" Family" printed at the bottom of the card.

Let me ask this question... What is the point? From the pictures on the card, I can garner the following;

1. You have had at least 2 family vacations this year where you seemingly had a great time.
2. Junior seems to have grown a good 10 cm since last year.
3. John Doe and Mary Jane are still together and have not divorced.

I know I sound like the Grinch right now but bare with me. Even if you are not religious, Christmas is about laughter, fun and family getting together. Its about reflecting and reminiscing on the year that has passed and building anticipation for the year lying ahead. 

To me the generic, impersonal postcards just highlight our differences. If you cannot be bothered to write my name on the card, should you really be sending me one? 

Here's a tip for next year; save yourself the cost and hassle of printing, posting a card and get tech savvy.... Facebook allows you to do it for free with their memories app! That way, you can choose to send out a generic greeting (like you do now) and I can choose to ignore it (like I do now) while still being environmentally friendly!  

Luckily, as far as I am aware, this trend has not caught on in Australia - and I hope it never does! Ofcourse, my husband thinks I'm being unreasonable and its 'good' to hear from family. I on the other hand would like to know at the very least, that they actually meant to send that card to me! 

Am I asking too much? 

Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year!
From Spunky and his Porkchop ;o)

Introverts Unite Separately In Their Own Homes

Last year, I started an article with the statement, "I don't particularly consider myself social". With each passing day, I get an increasing number of opportunities to self dissect and try to reconcile my thoughts and feelings with what is actually happening around me in the real world. In the last few months, I've discovered that I'm not anti-social - I'm an introvert.

You know what introverts like me don't like? Small Talk!

Photo Credit @introvertspring.com

Would you sign up to have a four hour conversation full of small talk?
Hi, How are you? - good start to any conversation!
Busy day? - slow decline
Good weather today... - dead in the water
<Insert Awkward silence....>
Kill me now!!

Small talk to me is chatting about everything I'd rather not with a complete stranger.
Here are some common misconceptions about introverts.

Photo Credit @in5d.com

1. Introverts want to be left alone - they don't like to talk.
   This can sometimes be true. I like my space and I am not the kind of person that can party every week and feel great about it. I'm happy to go out for a coffee or a drink - a couple of hours a week. For me, catching up with friends is an avenue to talk, to vent, to debate and yes - to get some support as well as provide support. If the conversation moves to the weather - or repeatedly asking, "what else is happening?", its time to wrap up!
   Introverts don't talk unless they have something to say. Once you find a topic we are passionate about, its hard to shut us up!
2. Introverts are angry or unemotional.
   I had never really given this much thought. But after often hearing my husband ask, "Are you OK?" or being told to "Cheer up" one too many times, I started to wonder... is it me?

   

   Photo Credit @introvertspring.com

   
   Then, it clicked. Its my face! Introverts prefer to control their emotions and internalize them.
   I get it - regardless of my emotional state, whether I am bored, angry, amused, perplexed or just indifferent, my expression is the same. It is often referred to as Bitchy Resting Face!
   I'm not mad - I'm just an introvert and this is just my BRF!
3. Introverts need help getting out in public
   Thank you - but no. I'm not someone that struggles to converse. I don't need rescuing. I'm not shy or scared or 'needing a push'. Perhaps I'm tired, or maybe I don't know much about the topic of discussion. Perhaps I just haven't heard a topic of conversation I'm passionate about enough to jump in and contribute to.
   Or maybe, I'm just not into small talk!

Photo Credit @eliassculton.com

Don't get me wrong. I understand that small talk is a necessary evil. It allows us to strike up a conversation with complete strangers and faithfully stands by us until we get to know that person just a little better. It helps us move into the 'how was your holiday in (insert cool destination here)' territory. 

However, if after weeks, months or years of knowing someone, your conversation still doesn't make it past the "hi, how are you? how was you weekend?" statements, its time to call it quits. Its a waste of my time, and yours. Clearly neither of us in invested enough or interested in a more meaningful 'relationship'.

Still don't believe me? Here are 10 famous successful people you wouldn't expect to be introverted!

Photo Credit@inlouiswake.wordpress.com

1. Bill Gates
2. Warren Buffet
3. Barack Obama
4. Audrey Hepburn 
5. Hillary Clinton
6. Marissa Mayer
7. Mark Zuckerberg
8. JK Rowling
9. Eleanor Roosevelt
10. Mahatma Gandhi 

Personally, I'm rarely bored alone. I'm often bored in groups.
What about you? Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Holiday Regrets

When on holiday, our inhibitions are inevitably low. Afterall, isnt that what being on holiday is all about - trying something new? For example, would you get in your car and not wear a seatbelt? Most people would agree that the answer is a resounding 'No!' So why then do we freely get into a rickshaw, leaving common sense behind and often risking not only our lives but those of our children – simply for the experience of riding a rickshaw; to try something new and to try anything once?

So let me ask another question. When we are home, we go to great lengths to support humanitarian and animal welfare organizations. So why then when on holiday do we turn a blind eye to some of these (often obvious) violations?

I’m not by any means trying to imply that every person goes wild on holidays and makes conscious decisions to support an activity they would otherwise strongly object to. But there is no denying that sometimes we do – often regretting the decision once the euphoria associated with the activity is gone and the reality of our contribution to the consequence sinks in.

I for one have made many decisions while on holiday which I have later grown to deeply regret. Anyone that knows me, knows that I am an animal lover. Although I’m still discovering for myself what that means to me, it hasn’t always been the case.

When I was younger, animals to me were the cute, cuddly, generally domesticated beings. I loved cats, dogs, rabbits, tigers, elephants – but not snakes, crocodiles, sharks and stingrays. I’m ashamed to say that as I’ve grown older, I haven’t always grown wiser.

Indonesia

Photo Credit @stylefrizz.com &
@forwallpaper.com

When I was 15, a friend introduced me a back alley shop that specialized in made-to-order shoes… of genuine snakeskin.

As you enter the shop, the first room stocks all available shoe styles. Once a style is chosen, you then take this with you to the back of the store which stocks a few (small) aquariums over-filled with snakes. At this point, staff measure the customer’s foot size, examine the shoe style chosen and point out the snakes that are ‘long enough’ to provide enough skin for the shoes.

I bought nothing from this store. Not because of my beliefs in animal welfare (at the time, I had no strong opinions), but because the snake I had chosen was not long enough to provide enough skin for the style of shoe I had selected. Lucky escape for the snake I thought. But realistically, all I did was delay the inevitable.
I did end up helping my friend make a purchase... A choice I regret. 

Sri Lanka

Of all the animals in the animal kingdom, elephants are by far my favourite. When I see an elephant, I have a strong urge to grab onto its trunk and give it a big hug! So why the heck did I agree to ride an elephant at an ‘orphanage’ in Sri Lanka? On the surface, the place seemed fine to me – the elephant I was to ride seemed happy and healthy. We went for a short stroll around a nearby village. Sitting on the elephants back, I noticed others. One elephant was swaying side to side with her head hanging low; looking rather spaced out. When I asked the handlers about this, their answer was even more chilling, “She’s just dancing Madam – don’t worry.”

Why didn’t I ask more questions? Why didn’t I insist on walking around to see the elephants before paying the ‘donation’? These are questions that will haunt me for a long time.

Australia

Now, I know what you’re thinking – first world country, full of animal lovers, all very vocal about animal rights. I have just two words – animal farms.

A couple of years ago, on a holiday in Australia, I went to visit a crocodile farm. In fact, if you read down to previous blog entries, I even recommend visiting it!

"We are a business"

One would think the name itself would tell me about what’s going on inside. Frankly speaking I had no idea and this was largely due to my own laziness. I had no strong love for crocodiles. After all, they would kill absolutely anyone on a whim – even their own!

Although I still have no love for crocodiles, I do feel guilty about visiting the farm and by extension, supporting it? If I am claiming to be an animal lover, I cannot in good conscience support an organization that breeds creatures for the sole purpose of providing designer shoes, belts and handbags.

Still don't believe me? Google Greyhound Racing Animals Australia. 

Thailand

Al Jazeera recently ran a documentary on the business of animal trade in Thailand. One of the businesses it discussed was the Tiger Temple; a place I have visited. Previous to visiting the Tiger Temple, I had done a lot of research on the wellbeing of these tigers. I felt satisfied that they were well treated and well looked after. I did read a few negative reviews about the place. But the language used in those reviews led me to believe they were an odd case and perhaps maybe had held a grudge about something.

Photo Credit @dailymail.co.uk

I went to the Tiger Temple feeling quite satisfied that I was giving my money to a good cause.

When I got there, I got to see and touch a gorgeous little tiger cub. He seemed happy and quite playful. However, as more people stepped up to touch the tiger cub and have a photo taken, the cub became restless and agitated. At this point, its what the handlers did that angered me. They gave the cub a slipper to chew on while they severely shortened the metal chain which tethered the cub to the ground.

I started to question everything I had read about this…sanctuary. As I walked around the grounds, I noticed that the cubs were out in the open – seemingly innocently playing. The adult tigers themselves are locked up in small ‘rooms’. Rooms that I felt would be small even for me was I to live there day in day out – and I’m less than a third of the size of an adult tiger!

In hindsight, I should have researched the place a lot more. I should have listened to the negative reviews and recognized them for passion rather than aggression. I not only regret having visited the Tiger Temple but I also regret convincing my previously skeptical friends into visiting it with me.

To anyone considering visiting the Tiger Tempe, I would strongly urge you to watch this Al Jazeera documentary.

I’m not here to be a vocal advocate for animal welfare. It is something I feel strongly about but I do not claim to know it all and jam that down anybody’s throat. I have only one request. If you feel strongly about an issue when watching it on TV from the comfort of your own home, whether it be personal safety, animal welfare or human rights, do not abandon this sentiment just because you’re on holiday. Its tough to stand up for what you believe in. Having said that, what would be tougher? Talking to the next generation about the way things used to be or telling them about a generation that fought hard to provide a great way of life? 
This is my lesson learnt from my holiday choices. And i'm slowly learning to ask some simple questions like, what is this article made from? How are these animals cared for? It's not someone else's problem. It's everybody's concern.

What are some questions that you ask when you're out and about?

To My Darling Namira

Namira when rescued

You came into our lives unsure of your new environment; growling at your foster brother and generally keeping to yourself. You had no idea that from the moment you jumped into the car, you had taken up a home in our hearts and I in turn had no idea that in time, we would be your family - to be loved whole heartedly by you.

As your foster mum, I thought my goal was to get you out of a most dire situation, bring you back to good health and bring out your crazy Saluki personality. My job was to help you put your best paw forward so we; your extended foster network could help you find your forever home.

I tried to give you all the love I had. It was never a 50:50 love to be shared between you and Gibson. For me, it was always 100% love for Gibson and 100% love for you. That was always my intention and I hope you felt that too. I never intended to fall in love with you my darling - but over time, you made that happen. And I didnt even realize!

Namira catching up on sleep

I have slowly watched you become the dog you are today. You have amused me with your, "It's way to early to get out of bed mum?" and amazed me with your, "I think I need to pee mum - but dont get up. I'll ask Gibson where to go" looks. Its been an absolute joy watching you confidently meet new people and new dogs and its been wonderful watching you discover the beach.

I was never too sure how you felt about us. You always seemed so aloof. I remember taking you on your first trip to the beach. I was so worried you were going to run away - and I was going to loose you! From the moment you jumped out of the car however, you surprised me. You stayed close and came right back when called. My friends tell me thats very rare. That's when I knew - we were your family and you loved us.

I know what you're thinking. If you're so happy and I'm so happy, how could I ever let you go and give you up? The answer is painfully simple. Its my job. Its my job to find you the most perfect home - one that is even better than mine! I do this so I can continue to take in other dogs in desperate situations - and help them as I do you.

Namira and Gibbs - Making friends

Namira,

Please dont think you weren't good enough
Please dont think I gave up on you
Please dont think I abandoned you

Please do love life
Please do love your new family like you love this one
Please do remember us - but please dont miss us.

Please know that I love you and no matter what, you will always have a home with me - but I hope you will never need it.

After almost 9 months with me, you will soon be going to your new home and getting to know your new family.
I know you will have a fantabulous life and even though I cant be a part of every day, know that I will always be watching over you.

Until that day comes, lets share lots of cuddles, lots of runs, and many many "mummy may I please have a treat" big brown eyes moments.

Lots of love,
Your doting foster mum

I dont know what you're talking about. I didn't do it...

Nam in a playful mood

Cuddle time - Feeling needy =o)

Personal Space?

There has been a lot of hype in the media recently about arguments developing 30,000 feet in the air - mostly due to invasion of personal space. Most people have an understanding of personal space -they value it and they respect it. But as the airline business continues to cram more human bodies into essentially the same aircraft size (aka “the tin can”), while it struggles to maintain it's profit margins, the concept of personal space and good service onboard is fast becoming a distant memory. 

Remember these? British Airways kids goody bag
Photo credit @ ebayimg.com

Gone are the old days when children used to get a goody bag upon embarking the flight. Remember the blue British Airways bags with colour book and pencils? Now when you board, you get a “welcome onboard” greeting with a smile…. if you’re lucky!  

Lets put the fish on the table. Businesses by nature are not set up to make you feel good. Good businesses are there to generate profits for the shareholders in an ethical manner. In case of the airline industry, that translates to increased capacity which isn't necessarily proportional to the size of the aircraft. 

Lets take the example of my flight home from Doha to Perth. The easiest route is with Qatar Airways; direct in just under 12 hours. I know what you’re thinking; its not an easy flight (and to a degree, I would agree). There are however, longer legs out there. Unfortunately, I was stuck in the very last row of economy; in the middle seat with seats that did not recline. To top it off, it was an overnight flight. How is this fair Mr Airline CEO? I paid for a standard reclining seat with the ever decreasing width and leg room (no different to everyone else in the cabin). I understand its a business and you have to make profits; but could you at the very least attempt to think of making the travels of your poor customer minutely comfortable and try and schedule long haul flights to daylight hours? Alternatively, do not sell seats in the last row for long haul flights - they do not recline!

We as the general flying population, complain about the changes and the ‘lack of service’ but we also endorse it. We do it every time we purchase a red-eye economy / budget economy seat. Unfortunately, the financial divide between economy and business seat is so wide, it automatically takes the average man out of the affordability equation. Again, lets take the example of Doha to Perth. An economy seat costs $1700 while a business seat will cost me in excess of $8000. Does the extra leg room, bigger tv, fully reclining seat really cost 4 times as much?

Its not just the airline that makes life difficult for travellers. Sometimes, its the passengers themselves! Since we are going to have to keep travelling for business and/or for pleasure in increasingly smaller seats, here are some golden rules I would like to share with every passenger out there. 

Smruti's Golden Rules for Flying:

Surviving the middle seat
Photo Credit @elliott.org

1. Have a shower before you board the flight. If you’re a transit passenger, carry a small can of deodorant or if you really want to be good, also carry some body wipes and give yourself a dry bath before you board your flight. Seriously, nobody wants to smell your holiday and know you’ve recently been trodding through some cow manure while running through the streets on a hot day to catch your train. 
2. Middle seat. Now we all know this one sucks! Nobody wants to sit in the middle - particularly between 2 strangers! The person in the window seat has a little extra room as they can lean on the window. The person in the aisle can stretch their legs slightly into the aisle. But the poor middle seat guy is stuck in the actual allocated seat space. Dont be stingy - give him both the arm rests. Thats all he has. Yes, I’m talking to you - lady who sat next to me on a recent flight from Oslo to Stavanger!
3. Get to your flight on time. Its hard enough sitting in that small seat during flight. We dont want to have to wait for you to saunter in (or your bags to be unloaded) at the gate just because you were living it up in Duty Free at the airport and ‘forgot’ the check the departure monitors.
4. Depending on the carrier, you’re allowed about 20+ kg in check in and 7 - 10kg as carry-on. Thats a total of nearly 30kg! Try and keep to taking 30 kgs of your most precious holiday clothing and gadgets. If you cannot do that, my suggestion would be hiring a Pajero and going on a road trip. Seriously though - what could you possibly need that you cant take in 30 kgs?
5. Do not stuff all your carry-ons into the overhead lockers. If you spread 10kg of your carry on across 4 bags, it is  not fair to put them all overhead and take up valuable real-estate. You’re entitled to half a section of the overhead bin. If you have more stuff, sacrifice your own leg room and put it under the seat in front of you. 

   

   Overhead realestate is dear
   Photo Credit @http://si.wsj.net/public/resources

6. When the call for boarding is announced, dont rush to the front if your seat number has not been called. If you’re seated in row 5, you will be one of the last ones to board. Dont be a douche and block other people from getting past you to board. Look on the up-side. You’ll be the first to disembark! 
7. Dont keep kicking the seat in front of you. Flying is hard enough without having to deal with someone kicking the back of your seat every 5 minutes.
8. Dont try to block the person in front of you from reclining. Everyone has paid for the same privilege of legroom and a reclining seat. If you have a good reason like you’re working on your laptop, let the person in front of you know. They may be cooperative in giving you some time. If not, shut down and enjoy the flight. Most people will be polite enough to at least give you a few minutes to save your work and shutdown. Why should anyone else have to pay the price for you having to work? 
9. Keep toilets clean. There are in excess of 100 people onboard the flight and less than 10 toilets. If you have dropped a particularly smelly one, use the spray mist provided in the toilets before you exit and spare the next person the gag reflex. Better yet, have a light, healthy meal the night before your flight and avoid any uncontrollable gaseous and effluent toilet incidents. Remember - wearing headphones only makes your farts silent to YOU!

   

   Skip the Chickpea Salad before a flight
   Photo Credit @raesofcolor8 and @cookieandkate

10. Last but not least, be nice to the Cabin Crew. They’re doing their best. They deal 300 of their closest strangers day in, day out and they are responsible for every individual’s safety. It cant be easy.

Smruti's Notes for Cabin Crew

Safety is no laughing matter
Photo Credit @workplaceinsight.net

1. Dont laugh and fumble through safety demonstrations. It is not comforting to passengers. Safety is and should always be a serious issue. Putting your life jacket on backwards during a demonstration and not realising you have done this, is no laughing matter. Ofcourse, when someone points this out to you, dont laugh it off either! Yes, this actually happened!
2. Dont blame / handball problems to other members of the team.
   On a recent flight, a number of entertainment systems were not working. The cabin crew simply agreed to re-set the affected systems. Good. It took them an hour to go flick the right switches. Bad. Upon reset, the entertainment system was still not working so the cabin crew apologised. Good. Then proceeded to tell me that someone else re-set it the first time. Bad.
   If there is a problem, get onto sorting it out asap. Not an hour later.
   For information, the entertainment system never got up and running. I was given magazines to read on that flight and ironically, they were all about travelling luxuriously. 

What about you? Any other suggestions for your fellow passengers or cabin crew? Leave your suggestions in the comment box below. =O)

Personal Space
Photo Credit @thebrianahansen

Sri Lanka

Overall, I felt Sri Lanka is most beautiful and oh so young! It has a gorgeous coastline and amazing greenery inland. The culture is rich and the food is finger lickin good! Now lets not forget the tea -- oh the tea!!

In my view, Sri Lanka has the potential to develop into the best of Bali and Singapore. The timezone is just right for it to be able to develop into a financial hub and be an economic gateway into the sub-continent.

The natural beauty of the island is perfectly poised to develop into a tourist hub. Over the coming years as Sri Lanka ramps up its development, it will be treading a very fine line between over commercialisation and an ideal tourist haven.


In the future, we will look back and pin point this as a time where Sri Lanka made a decision - to either follow in India's mistakes or in Singapore's success. Either way, Sri Lanka brings its own individuality to the table and I for one, feel priveledged to have seen Colombo and greater Sri Lanka during its youth. I cant wait to see how the nation develops and progresses over the coming years!

Tour Guides and Conmen

Nuwara Eliya, Sri Lanka, 2015

We recently went on a quick trip to Sri Lanka. The aim of the trip was to go get a first look at the country. It is a country that has been relatively inaccessible in the past; and now that it is open for business, we were curious to go see it before the tourist boom.

Although the country itself is gorgeous with beautiful landscape and wonderful wildlife, what really stuck in my mind is the people we met.

Beware of the tour guides

As our trip was a last minute adventure, we decided to hire a tour guide to show us around rather than plan out our own itinerary. BIG MISTAKE! Our tour guide was hands down, the most annoying person i have ever come across.

Nuwara Eliya, Sri Lanka, 2015

After 2 days on the tea plantations in Nuwara Eliya, on our way out of the region, our tour guide turns to us and says, "If you look to your left, you can see the people picking tea"

My thoughts: No Kidding. I thought they were out picking potatoes over there!

Galle, Sri Lanka, 2015

When we asked to stop at a market for some souvenirs, our guide took us to a 'mall'. My friend bought some tea for her family and colleagues. Later that day, we went to a supermarket and discovered that the tea (with the same packaging) was much cheaper! When we questioned our tour guide, his response was, "Ma'am, I can only say one thing - taxes! Supermarkets pay no tax while a small family store pays much more tax!"

My thoughts: uh huh... you mean the tour guide is friends with the shopkeeper tax. ;o)

Beware of the Conman

On our last day in Colombo, we decided to go for a wander around the harbour. Within seconds of walking out of our hotel, a guy saw us loitering around the parliament house admiring the old colonial building. He inched a little closer and said, "Hi, you cant take a picture of that building. Its parliament house and the police will harass you if they catch you taking a picture."
We said, "Thanks for letting us know" and started to move away - seemingly in the same direction. He fell into step with us and started making conversation. He mentioned that he recognized us from the hotel and that he worked at the hotel, had just finished his shift and was headed home.

As he walked with us, he asked us about our trip, how our experience had been in Sri Lanka and slowly gained our trust. He then casually said, "Best if you walk on the other side of the road - its safer, no pickpockets." So we promptly crossed the road. He then stopped us by a rickshaw and said, "today is the last day of the gem sale. Best bargains in the country. You pay me Rs 50 and i'll tell this guy to take you there." When he answer he got was a no thank you, he became quite angry and very forceful.... Shaken up, we just as forcefully told him to leave us alone! Less than 30 seconds later, cue the next conman - with a very similar 'pick-up' line.

We returned to the hotel and informed concierge about what had happened and that there were people out there claiming to work for the hotel. We found out that this was a problem they were aware of and had informed the authorities but hadn't noticed any improvement...!

This was my first experience with a tour guide - atleast in recent times. My patience has never been tested as much as it was with my Sri Lankan guide. By the end of the trip, everything about him got on my nerves; from his voice to his Limp Fish handshake! As for the conman, well, that's all part of the 'charm' in visiting a developing nation.
What has been your experience with tour guides?

Home is where the heart is? Stuff is? Mum is?

I remember hearing somewhere that it takes between 12 and 18 months to start feeling settled in a new environment. This makes me nervous. After all, I left Australia less than 12 months ago, I’ve been in Qatar now for less than 12 months and I’m gearing up for my first trip home as a ‘visitor’. I can’t help but feel nervous about perhaps maybe not belonging anywhere…

At the end of the day, I’m Australian; I don’t necessarily identify with being Australian mind you. For instance; I’m not crazy about bbq’s and lamb chops (Aussie) but I love curries (not Aussie). I love the beach (Aussie); but I’m not crazy about getting into the water (not Aussie).

I am an expat’s daughter and it is hard to deny that the time spent living in different countries, immersed in another culture and another language changes people. I love putting myself in uncomfortable new situations. The euphoria that comes with overcoming the situation and realizing that I have evolved in some small way is well worth the discomfort.

I have left my home base enough times to accept that the experience of living as an expat changes people in ways you don’t immediately realize. A fundamental shift in perspective and in thinking is inevitable. Ofcourse, because this is not my first rodeo, I know that this change has already happened and yet, not fully understanding the extent to which this has happened makes me a little nervous.

I’m nervous about driving when I visit home. Seems counter-intuitive when you think I’m going to a place where drivers are generally polite and follow road rules. But that’s exactly my point! I’ve gotten used to taking any small space available on the roads to keep moving forward.

I’m nervous about feeling lost and unsettled in Australia. I’m nervous about not fitting in anywhere and always being in a state of transition.

I’m nervous about not being able to converse with people and feeling like I have ‘lost touch’ with friends and local culture and that the ‘new’ me – the expat me will have grown away from family and friends.

Having said that, I’m excited to be going home! I can’t wait to get all my friends together again and discover Perth all over again! I can’t wait to see my sister and go shopping with her (like we used to do!). I’m excited to be a tourist in my own home town but most of all, I’m excited at the prospect of hugging my beautiful mum and my adorable dad; and it’s all happening in just a few…short…hours!

When you live abroad, you quickly realise that no matter where in the world you are, you will always be an expat. It’s a waiting game really, until you find a place that sings your tunes and makes you feel like you’re home ‘again’. 

For now, home is where wifi connects automatically. What about you? Where do you call home?

Photo Credit: @lovethispic.com

It's all Relative

What makes a good, strong relationship? I’ve been having a lot of these conversations lately with friends and colleagues. There was one common theme; in any solid relationship, someone has to take a step back and both partners cannot be uber ambitious go-getters.

Some believe that once you have kids, mum needs to stay home and make her life ‘all about the children’. Others thought it was good for mum and dad to work to make the kids more independent. Ofcourse this only needs to be thought about once you have kids. What about before you had them? Were both partners highly career oriented? Or, was one of you already starting to gear up for the ‘pause’. And who made the decision on which one of you was going to take a step back? Was it your partner? Was it you? Was it the extended family? Or was it your employer?

Photo Credit: @managementlink.wordpress.com    

Nepotism. It’s that 8-letter word that makes any human resources person sit up and take notice. Quite often, employing husband and wife into the same company is to the company’s advantage. It’s like getting two for the price of one! Single recruitment fee, single relocation package etc. But what do you do when both husband and wife have the same qualifications and the company has two vacant positions in the same department? Should the company hire them both or hire best of the two citing ‘Nepotism’?

Let’s say they hire both parties and some months down the line, they say, “Oops! Sorry. We’ll keep one and have to move the other to a different department. Not because of your performance, but because of ‘Nepotism’ ”. Even though the couple works as team in most aspects of life, in the workplace, they are competitors. That’s the harsh reality.

Ofcourse, you are happy for your partner. But how do you then feel? How do you not feel like one of you has won and the other… has lost? And carry that feeling back home?

This got me thinking, “Where did the term nepotism originate? A quick search in the Merriam Webster dictionary led me to the explanation, “the unfair practice by a powerful person of giving jobs and other favors to relatives”. This is ofcourse something to be avoided. But to what degree? It makes sense in politics and business. But what about low level jobs? How do you then quantify the risk of nepotism?

According to a study by the anti-poverty charity Oxfam, the wealthiest 1% will soon own more than the rest of the world's population. Is nepotism something that really only applies to the wealthy and the top performers or is it something that every individual has to think about; no matter their position in the workforce? Where do you draw the line? Does this extend to good friends? What about the partner you’ve been with for a few years but haven’t yet taken the step of getting that piece of paper signed? Does one single 8½ in × 11 in piece of paper really have so much power that it makes the world sit up and take notice? And are you really trying to tell me that the wealthiest 1% are not good friends? Almost ‘like family’?

In this day and age where couples meet in university, either employers are going to have to start getting more intelligent about how they define nepotism and less selfish about how they practice the policy or risk looking very foolish later on down the line.

What about rejecting somebody because they remind you of that nasty bully in high school? Isn’t there a rule against holding a grudge somewhere too?

Thoughts?

Photo Credit: @tinacourtney.com